Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Attempting to Reaquire Art

Alright, so I've been on an awesome mission trip... but one sacrifice that i have to make each time i go on one is my art. Please don't read this as me complaining or whining... this is a blog, and blogs are partially meant for venting and most of this post is just that, venting.

The time leading up to the mission trip takes so much out of everyone; loss of free-time, always working on skits or fund-raisers or going to various churches, etc. I'm not saying any of that is bad by any means. there's just no time to draw or work on any artwork. but hey, no big deal, right?
The mission trip itself goes 90-to-nothing with everything just rush-rush-rush! we do get some good down-time during the trip, but due to the physical stresses of the climate and going so many places, that rest time is usually spent sleeping or eating. again, not a bad thing but still doesn't allow any time for artwork.
So we get back from the mission trip and things are still kinda hectic while trying to get back into the flow; work needs you to catch up on things you missed while you were away, projects were put off until your return, more churches to go speak at, etc.

And once again I'm not complaining about doing any of those things... I'm just saying that it takes a sacrifice. And for me, that sacrifice ends up being my artwork. The time leading up to the trip is about 4-6 months, the mission trip itself lasts 2-3 weeks, and the follow up tends to be 1-2 weeks. So that's anywhere from 5-7 months of not being able to draw regularly! as you can imagine, that puts one a bit out of practice and actually takes nearly that same amount of time to get back into practice again.
Now i really do believe God honors my sacrifice in this. He's always done amazing things on these trips, and i know I'm not the only one to give up something like this for the sake of going to another country and winning the lost.

Last year it took me 6 months to get back into drawing again, but this year I'm trying a different approach. Photo Manipulation. Instead of trying to make myself draw things from scratch I'm taking pre-existing photos and using pieces and elements from them, combined together, to make one picture that tells a whole new story from what the original pictures tell. and this method seems to be working for me! I've already got one picture completed and finished called "Pour Into My Storehouse" and I'm rather pleased with how it turned out.

It's one of those pictures that started from the Sunday sermon. (Yes, i bring my laptop to church and use it during the service. :P ) Our pastor was talking about how God wants to bless us and pour into our storehouses but how we have to HAVE storehouses for Him to pour into. The idea for this picture just jumped into my head, so i launched PaintTool and started in on the picture while the pastor spoke.
The church has wifi, so i was able to do some google image-searching while working on it and pull in the pieces that i needed.









Just so I'm not ending on a bad note, I'd like to clarify; God bless those mission trips! I'll continue to go on them, God does such AMAZING things on those trips, I Love 'em and I'm always amazed that i get to be part of what God does in the lives of the people we minister to! All I'm saying in this blog entry is that my sacrifice is my artwork. And hopefully it won't take 6 months for my art skills return this time. :P

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Rocks, Climbers, Darkness and Giggles

Okay, so it's been a while since my last blog entry... but i think the content of this one will make up for it!

Friday evening i met up with others in our bible study group that are going to the Philippines this summer. our team gathered together at the coffeehouse to go on a team-building trip out to Sidonnie's Ranch outside of Brady. it was a long drive and we brought LOT of supplies out there, leaving a bit later than we expected to leave (7pm instead of 6) and we got to the ranch at 830 or so.
along the way it got dark, really dark. our convoy continued down the winding country road until we came up to the little road that leads finally to the ranch, as we came up there were two vehicles coming up the other direction of the same road we're on and as we start to turn onto the road those other two wait to follow onto the same road as us. we wind around to the gate for the ranch and those other 2 cars come right along with us! okay, I'm really curious who they are now... there's no other houses where we are headed to and the ranch house has no one living in it right now. well, leave it to Andrea to make the right guess... she said, "hey, i wonder if it's Leslie and Angela". turns out she was right! somehow they'd ended up arriving at the exact moment that we did! from two different towns, headed towards each other from opposite directions, leaving at different times and no coordination as to when we're leaving or they're leaving... Only God could have arranged that! so our first amazing event took place this weekend before even pulling in to the drive way.
after getting in past the gate with a musical interlude of car/truck horns we pull up to the house and start to unload everything, several of us going up to the front door to hunt for the spare key to let us in. well, we never did find the key! seems it wasn't put back where it belongs so we had to go with Plan-B; find one of the little windows in the back and pop it out so we can open the door and get inside. Leslie was the one to pop the little window out and go unlock the front door.
we all get inside and start putting our stuff in various rooms (divided to boys' bedroom and girls' bedroom) and then went back outside to hang out around a nice big camp fire. we started to worship and get ourselves in the right mind for the weekend. we came before the Lord and praised him, bringing ourselves into a place of worship and prepared our hearts.
after a few songs we finally heard the first part of the plan... WE'RE DOING WHAT?! And it's already what time?! yep, despite the fact that it's already 1100 and very dark, we're all fixing to climb up this huge hill/mountain behind the house.
i don't know how far we walked just to get TO the mountain, but it took about 30-45 minutes just to get there from the house... though it might not have taken so long if we weren't all tied together! that's right, Leslie brought out this long heavy cord and tied each of us together in a big line in the following order:
John Douglin
Zach Speegle
Rachael Karstetter
Angie Schum
Melissa Murphy
Chris-Jon Simmons(That's me!)
Andrea Verano
Matt Roddam
Faith Alexander
Sam Goza
That's all of us that were in the line, but there were a couple more who went up with us; Leslie was outside the line so that he could forge ahead and clear some paths for us. his daughter Hailey also came along, though she was untethered and Angie's Bull-Terrier Dog, Abby, came along with us as well.
11 adults, one 6 year old and one painfully useless dog (sorry, i don't really like Abby very much) all headed up to the mountain together at about 1015. it took very little time before we're laughing about every little thing. we hadn't even left the yard yet and we were playfully beating each other up with our huge supply-stuffed Ruck-Sacks since there's not a lot of space between each other in the line. "Look this way!" WHACK... "no, look that way! WHACK
along the trail (while we still HAD a trail) we'd all holler out "POOP" when john's leadership made us nearly walk right over every cow-pie out there! Angie, being typical "Angie" picked one of the dry ones up at one point and thew it back along the line, hiding Andrea in the jacket.
after a while and going a long-ways from the house we got to where we needed to start heading up the face of the mountain. there was a place pretty early on where we realised that it would be quite impossible to climb up while tethered together so we all untied and started up the beginning of what would soon prove to be quite a challenging non-trail. 4 years ago Angie, Melissa and Angela went up this same mountain with a different crew, they'd used an existing trail and made it to the top by about midnight. our group, however, did things differently this time; we don't believe in using existing trails apparently and decided to blaze our own trail up the mountain.
many difficult challenges later and we're still only half-way up! we'd already dealt with lots of cactus and cat-claws, getting ourselves stuck with little needles and lots of scrapes by poky sharp plants that cling to the same rocks that we're using to climb up. Angie managed to get the souls of her shoes ripped off somewhere early on and kept complaining about "the cactus poking right up through her shoes" before she even realized that there was nothing under her feet to protect them. no wonder it felt like you were climbing barefoot!
as the path went up the mountain we kept encountering lots of places where we'd have to scale up over large boulders, and there would be little-to-no places to grab on to. these were where us guys could really shine as we'd help get everyone past these places no matter what it took. this included (but was not limited to) pressing ourselves up against the rock so as to provide a knee for someone to step on, crouch down on hands and knees so that someone could climb up on our back, holding on hands-and-feet within a large gap between boulders to make a human bridge that someone could crawl across because they couldn't stand up and jump it.
needless to say, our group was growing closer with each new challenge. my sweetheart, Andrea, did so well on that mountain! things like this are a bit tougher for her, mainly considering her short arms and legs and her fear of heights but she pressed right through with such determination that she wasn't about to let anything keep her down. and the gentlemen in our group were very gracious as they'd help her (and all the others) get through the tough spots doing whatever was needed.... so yes, unfortunately there were some much-needed butt-pushings by everybody on everyone else at some point or another just to get up over rocks and such.
part way up Abby, Angie's dog, got her nail hurt and it was pulled off to the quick. she started bleeding and getting blood on anyone who carried her. poor Zack looked like he'd been in quite a fight with all the blood he had on himself from her. Abby has always been scared of heights, so this trip was quite taxing on her. she never liked to go up anything more than a gentle incline and would constantly get herself stuck in various places where we'd have to get her out and carry her over big rocks and such.
i wish i could say the view was amazing. i wish i could say that i took lots of pictures of the countryside while we climbed. i took plenty of pictures of our group, but it was much too dark to aim the camera out from the mountain and catch anything more than blackness. from time to time we'd all turn off our flashlights while we rested and we'd let our eyes adjust to the dark, letting the bright moonlight illuminate the world below. it was in this low-light that we could see where we've been and how far we've come. we could always see the house with its 4-square windows lit up so as to give us a relative bearing on our position as we traversed up the hill.
after 4 grueling hours of climbing we finally find the REAL top of the mountain. i say "real" because the other places where we thought we saw the top weren't really the top but spots where the hill was pushed back a bit and you just couldn't see it continue past the next rise. anyway, the top was kinda nice. full of cactus still but at least it was pretty level and had a nice breeze. Angie sent out a few people to try and find this large rock that they'd slept on 4 years ago when they did this last time, thinking that we couldn't be very far off the trail that they'd used before.
well, seems we were quite a bit off from the trial of 4 years ago so there was no large flat rock to sleep upon. instead we found this spot that was kinda low like a bowl and surrounded by some nice trees to help block the wind a bit. we started settling in and realised that one of the backpacks was missing; it was the bag with David's camera in it so Zack went back to the spot we crested from and hooked his shirt over a tree limb to be able to find it again at day-break so he could head back down that path and pick the back back up.
sleep was a precious commodity and it looked like few of us would get to enjoy much of it. the weather quickly turned cold, amplified by the wind that picked up and stole our body heat with each new gust that rolled through. since warmth was the name of the game we all decided to put decency aside and just cuddle in groups to keep warm. Angie and faith laid down in basically the middle of the "bowl", just kinda dozing off to sleep under a blanket or something while the rest of us were starting to settle in. Leslie wrapped his 6yr old daughter Hailey into a cold-weather blanket and folded it around her "taco style" then climbed in with her. Andrea and i slept right next to Angie though there was about a foot of clearance between us and them. i think we had the wimpiest of all coverings since it was just a liner for something else that we put over ourselves and could only cover our upper bodies, so we cuddled in close and wrapped our arms around each other to try and conserve heat. on the other side of Angie and faith were 3 more people, Melissa, Matt and Rachael in that order with Rachael being closest to Leslie's head and Melissa being on the other end with Matt in between them. the three of them were perpendicular to how Angie and faith were laying, so their heads all pointed at faith while Leslie's head pointed at their sides. down at my feet was where john slept, taking a ruck-sack as a pillow and the WARMEST of all the sleeping bags! it could have held 2 people inside never mind that for now.
anyway, after a bit of everyone trying to sleep through the constant giggling from Angie and faith, a number of us sat back up again and each partook in an M.R.E. to get a bit of sustenance into our bodies since we didn't have any dinner prior to leaving the house. each person enjoyed their meal and before long we were all sleepy again. though finding that same spot between the rocks was impossible so new positions in our relative locations was required.
in my adjusting i found myself now only 6 inches away from Angie and she told me later it helped since there was less wind on that side now. Zack and Sam finally decided to settle in for the night as well and headed off a short ways from the group, choosing to sleep together for warmth but not with the rest of us. they spooned (their own admission of it!) all night for warmth and kept waking up to the annoying giggling of our fearless leader.
Matt, Rachael and Melissa were all making various sounds and chatter over on their side, complaining about "Jaggles" poking into their backs which were the jagged rocks that we all had to sleep on. they'd make some comment and all giggle. one of the comments that came from over there went something like this:
Rachael: "Ack, what's that I'm feeling?!"
Matt: "Oh, that's just my hand"
Angie sits straight up quickly: "WHAT?!"
it was about this time that Angie said something like, "well, we'd better enjoy this night. it's going to be my last. If a Norther blows in it's all over, and David's going to kill me! I've killed his dog, lost his camera and now I've let this happen!". after that everyone started giggling about something and no one could sleep just yet.
the wind started blowing in, bringing that Norther that Angie was joking about, making everyone shiver and huddle closer together for warmth. i don't think that anyone slept very much, but the bowl shape of the ground certainly brought everyone closer together in a very literal sense. i ended up being right up next to Angie while Andrea was cuddled in even closer to me. faith had slid down a bit towards Angie's feet and was face-down while Angie remained on her back. my feet were pressed up against john's ruck sack so i didn't end up scooting much at all. Leslie's ruck that he used as a pillow ended up in front of his face by morning and yet his head was still propped up on something.... something warm and soft. his hand was extended up over his head and someone was holding it and playing their fingers in his palm to which he asked, "um, who's playing with my hand?" his response was "oh, it's just me. Melissa. " he realised his head was on some one's butt and asked who's it was, to which Rachael replied sleepily, "oh, that's mine. don't worry, I'm doing the same to faith". so it seems that several people found much better "pillows" to use during the night. lol
in the middle of the giggling i lifted a flashlight up into the air and pointed it back down at the group, quickly flicking the light on and back off again. everybody groaned, thinking I'd taken a picture of the awkward pile and started making demands about where these pictures had better NOT end up (FaceBook, digital picture frame, Internet, David's Email in-box, etc). all this led up to jokes/demands that we all sign gag-orders swearing that we do not tell anyone any of the things that transpired upon the top of that mountain!.... obviously by reading this you can see that I'm doing no such thing and actually makings sure I'm very detailed in what i share because of how funny it was (and i honestly don't believe there was anything to hide, we all behaved).
we all awoke slowly as the sun crept up and lit the sky, making it hard to keep eyes closed so we all stretched and tried to pop our creaking bones back into place as we surveyed what had happened. Angie told me that she was tempted to offer me $5 just to tuck in the sleeping bag over herself and faith to keep the chill from sneaking its way inside. then my services were being bribed as a number of people said they should have offered likewise for me to come tuck them in too!
after getting a lot of things together and packing it all up, including garbage, we had communion together. after a night like the last one there was nothing sacred, everyone had been put into compromising positions and such through the climb and the sleep yet we all remained respectful and the morning communion was further proof of that as we all partook of it together and made sure to keep it sacred.
the morning brought a renewed sense of accomplishment as our camp-site just so happened to overlook the entire west side of the mountain, letting us look way out to the distance as the sun rose behind us, lighting the ground far below. it was a clear day and the chill was quickly fleeting as we grabbed all our gear and headed back towards the spot where we'd crested the ridge, marked by Zack's shirt.
at this point, Zack, Matt and Faith all set out the way we'd come up, heading back down in a group to search for the missing camera bag while the rest of us pressed a bit further south to try and find the original path that was used 4 years before. we wouldn't discover until much later that to find that trail we would have to have gone a long ways NORTH instead of south from the camping spot to find it. this means we found what looked like a good area and started back down the mountain, blazing a brand new trail once more but without the aid of 3 of our more nimble members. it made the trek down very tricky. what's more is that Leslie gave up his shoes for Angie to wear down the mountain, this meant that our trail-blazer was going barefoot down the mountain!
as we came to the point where there was a lot of large rocks and boulders that we decided would be best for descending i was able to look eastward over the back side of the mountain and caught a beautiful picture of the sun coming up and flooding the ground below with yellow light while casting unique light and shadow on that side of the mountain. it was an awesome sight, but i also knew that before long that mountain would be shining down on our side of the slope and would begin bathing us in the hot of light.
so we start down and it's a very different climb this time. Abby doesn't want to do much walking, so she's carried most of the way down. For the most part we stuck together until Leslie moved on ahead a bit with Hailey Rachael and Melissa. John, Sam, Andrea, Angie and i stayed pretty much at the back most of the time, with periodic meetings with Leslie as they'd stop and wait for us to help us get past some of the trickier spots. Andrea was very cautious going down, holding my hand a lot more than when we were going up, but she was also a lot braver now and was willing to try things a lot more quickly. her fear of heights that she confessed about last night was quickly fading away and i could see her overcoming it right before my eyes.
in fact, there were a lot of people overcoming things on our way down. i myself found a great encouragement from the fact that i wasn't leading Andrea hardly at all during this weekend, mostly i was helping her from behind which meant that she was going first on a lot of these difficult places rather than making me go first and then she try to follow. her fear was pretty much crushed by this point now and my own fear had no business sticking around either, we were on the move and while cautiously slow at times it was always sure-footed and steady progress.
Sam was a big help to us as he was honorably making himself last in order for much of our decent... actually he did the same going up too! he made sure people got through tough spots and was always willing to make it easier for everyone else, even if it made it harder for himself personally. as we proceeded down, he'd carry Abby much of the time and seemed to not mind having her slung around behind his head like a helpless sheep. Angie as cracking jokes along the way with Andrea and myself, all of us making funny remarks and commenting about the mountain. most of the comments were between herself and Melissa about how this HAD to be the trail they used 4 years ago and how it COULDN'T be the same trail from 4 years ago. it was rather amusing. so after a while i pipe up with, "Hey, Angie. Look! we're halfway down!" by this point we'd been climbing down for a very long time and nobody wanted to hear that they were only "half way", so my comment was met with much groaning and rolling of eyes yet further down the hill she asked for another update. lol
now at one point we were able to see that the other group (Zack, Matt and Faith) were making very good progress and that they'd basically made it down the mountain already. all three of them went back to the house, then Zack was kind enough to come back and help the group by working his way up while we worked our way down. by this point John was near the back with angie, sam, andrea and myself with john being in the back-most position and dealing with abby. Sam was gracious enough to take abby from this point which let me proceed on in such a manner that i could still help andrea.
it wasn't long before john pressed on past us and caught up to leslie and the other girls along with angie, leaving andrea, myself and sam way behind to try and guess which way the group had gone through each set of bushes. i got a little hot under the collar since it didn't feel like we were a team any longer and on several occasions i hollared ahead for directions, telling them to wait for us to catch up or to come back or something, ANYTHING. but leslie was not able to back-track, the trail itself would not let him and we were forced to figure our own ways through some of these difficult areas.
the sun was beating down by now and we were all gettting hungry and tired, we'd pretty much run out of water and were all longing to find the house miraculously around the next tree. sadly it wasn't there and we had to keep pressing on, even when the path seemed to offer no suggestion or hint as to which way the group had gone. Zach was starting to make his way up to us 3 after we'd hollared to eachother and we couldn't figure out which one it was. so andrea and i press through these bushes that are right infront of us until the very last bush to push through turns out to be a thorn bush, a big one this time. Zack is so close too! it's just about 3 feet infront of us and yet just out of reach. i try to hold as much of the thorny tree at bay while andrea successfully pushes through, coming out with just a couple scratches. but as i try to go through, all the branches grab hold of me and my ruck sack. i'm stuck. there's no being dainty about it this time, each time i push through the tree literally pulls me back, i'm physically unable to get out of it. finally zack takes my hand and pulls me out, literally ripping me from the clutches of the tree as the thorns dig in and leave some nasty bloody scrapes all along my hands and arms, tearing at my hat, jacket and especially the big ruck sack.
once free of that thorn tree i can see sam choosing some other path around and successfully getting through without much trouble. obviously the path we should have taken. anyway, the 4 of us now head out again, this time to meet up with the rest of the group as they wait for us in the shade. when we meet up we start heading out towards the house once more, finally on flat-level ground with just a bit of unevenness as we deal with a dry creekbed. when we get within sight of the house, just about a thousand yards from it or so, andrea starts to overheat, getting to where she's seeing spots and feeling feint so i take off her jacket and give her my hat to keep the direct sun off her head.
for some reason, those last yards felt the hardest, coming up the road behind the house, so near to it that i could touch their back fence and yet so far because there was no cover from shade and we still had to walk around the fence to get into the yard before crossing the yard to enter the house. Sam looked like such an angel as he came out of the house carrying those 2 cups of ice water. i was so happy to see them in his hand that i took the one he offered to me and passed it quickly to andea without even taking a sip. i let her drink some to help cool off before drinking some myself.
as we came up to the house, we also saw something else that touched our hearts... Zack was carrying leslie, still barefoot up to the house. apparently he'd picked him up some time earlier along the river and was letting leslie's poor feet have a break from all the stickers and cactus that was so thick along that stretch. it was very touching to leslie, as he was crying on the back of zack's shoulders as he was so graciously carried up to the house and inside.
once within the house it was time to cool off, i got andrea into a chair downstairs and we rested a bit before i noticed melissa coming down the stairs having obviosuly just showered and cleaned up. i urged andrea to do the same and we went upstairs so i could start picking cactus needles out of our clothing while she gets into the shower as next in line since the heat was making her sick and i wanted her to not wait for anyone else before washing up and cooling down. but leslie urged us to wait as there was something special that we were all going to do shorly and that she'd have plenty time after it to shower. so we waited.
what we waited for ended up being something quite unexpected and very touching. we all gathered at the back portch and preyed a bit before we started washing eachother's feet just as Jesus had done with his deciples. leslie and zack started with washing angie's feet, weeping for joy through it all before having all the new team members come up and they wash their feet. so Sam, Andrea, Matt and Faith. as they went through they'd speak a word over each person, proclaiming what the Lord was showing was a major strength of their's. after the frist timers the veterines of the mission trips went next, including myself, angela, john, zack, and leslie. each person took turns washing eachother's feet, showing to one another that we're all servants to eachother and we are all on the same level. the whole thing was very touching and was quite a solomn event.
shortly though, andrea started overheating again so we went inside and she just relaxed in that chair again while i layed out before her on the floor at her feet. we both fell asleep before long and apparently set a trend, because we woke up about an hour later and nearly everyone else was asleep all around the house! we took this opportunity and went upstairs, letting andrea take a shower while i gathered up all her stuff and started picking cactus needles out of her clothing and shoes. she changed into her pajamas since they were the only complete outfit that didnt' have needles in them and we went back downstairs to get some lunch, fixing a couple sandwiches and starting a little trend once again as slowly people would wake up and decide they were hungry too.
before long we're all up and about and i get tasked with finding some paper and pens to play a little team-building excercise before we'd all be heading home. once items were found we were broken up into 2 teams with team-captains and we were given a task. basically the ship we're on is sinking due to a fire we cna't put out. we have limited supplies that are listed, of which we can only take 6. we're told there's some island 1000 miles away and that's about it. our task was to sort and pick 6 items from the list and devise a way that as many people on our team would survive. then Leslie (who was kept out as judge) would grade our responses.
it was little more than a simple team-building excercise that we all had fun with, both teams ultimately coming out at a tie and both teams earning the privilage of cleaning up sidonie's house before we'd all leave back to Brownwood.
All-in-all God did some amazing things on this trip, He showed strengthes and pointed out for us how to build those up to be even stronger strengthes and he revealed weaknesses and ways for us to improve upon those and lift eachother up as one body, closer than even just a team of bodies.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Negative, Positive, and Faith

Okay, so last night's bible study was an interesting one. sometimes Angie likes to repeat her lessons... let me rephrase that; sometimes God likes to have Angie repeat one of her older lessons for the benefit of some new folks in our bible study. not tonight! this time it was something new, and i know that i definitely benefited from it!

"Negative people never finish."
when you're negative in your mindset, you tend to take everything in the wrong direction and can actually cause blessings in your life to avoid you! when king David danced before the Lord he was making an earthly fool of himself, humbling himself before God and just praising Him. his wive, Michal daughter of Saul, saw what he was doing and mocked David for it. saying, "how the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, disrobing in the sight of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!" but what she didn't know was that he was coming to the house that very moment to give her a great blessing from the Lord. instead, her comment about his "vulgar dancing" caused her not to be blessed, but instead was barren for the rest of her life!
2Samuel 6: 12-23

be careful not to fill in the blanks about people, assuming the worst. Michal assumed that David was simply acting like a fool rather than what he was really doing, worshiping God. do you find yourself filling in the blanks? try some of these on for size and see how they fit:
"well, she didn't come to work today, must be because of _____" or perhaps, "she lost a lot of weight, but you know i bet it's because she's doing _____", or maybe even, "this thing is missing, i bet _____ stole it!" filling in the blanks about a person can lead to wrong thoughts about them, almost always negative ones.

the majority of voices in your life are going to bring you negative reports. when the 12 spies were sent out to investigate the promised land, there were only 2 who gave a good report telling how the land was lush and could be taken. but there were a full 10 who gave an "evil" report, saying how there were giants living in the land and we look like measly grasshoppers to them! that evil (negative) report caused the Israelites to wander in the desert for 40 years!
negativity comes at the high points and the low points, whether you're on top of your game and everything is going great or you're down at the lowest you've ever been and things couldn't get any worse! if there is anything inside of you that likes the way it feels to be negative, CUT IT OFF! pitty-parties feel good inside because it's a deep selfishness, or when you feel negative about how so many things are going in your life it's easy to put yourself down about it, see the negativity and take some sick pleasure in the supposed "power" you seem to have to make things so bad. CUT IT OFF! heck, when David was given a very negative word from an old man that mocked him when he was at his lowest, he sent out one of his men to kill the guy! ;)


by contrast, there's positive! it's the way we need to be, right? in Seattle, you can go to Pike Market and buy huge bouquets of flowers for just $5, then you can go get some fish and watch the men throw the fish around while they get it ready for you. it's quite the sight to see and tends to make anybody smile and get happy to watch the flowers and "flying fish". but does it do anything more than this? proverbs 17:22 says "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones". it would seem that there is something good to being positive, but there's no real power to it. you might be able to laugh your way through life, but it won't change anything. being positive gives you the the endurance to keep going, but not the power to change things. someone in Angie's family had developed this condition where he couldn't use his arms and legs. his guy's family tried to cheer him up by going on a Disney cruise with him. but instead of the intended outcome, they were all depressed and grumpy by the end! he felt he was nothing but a burden to them, keeping his family from getting to have fun themselves because of his condition. positivity didn't work, it backfired. so they tried something else, they'd heard about this cure in Mexico where they use bee-stings. so they took him down there for that. they met some rather neat folks along the way, had a great time and went down to this bee-doctor to have the treatment. oddly enough, the guy tells them, "the bee stings only work if you acknowledge that God made the bees". well, the fella got the treatment and felt somewhat better, but never acknowledged God's power in his life. ultimately he died sometime later, never fully recovered.

perhaps a good way too look at being positive is like painting a beautiful river scene on the side of a barn. during a drought, there's still no water. the painting brings no water to quench your thirst. it may make you feel a bit better about the situation, even reminding you of what it's like to drink water. it may help you endure the drought, but don't count on that picture to have any power to help bring real water!

so what about faith? where does that fit in all of this? Faith is described in the bible as calling things that aren't, as though they are. it's the difference between an umpire and an intercessor. one calls things the way they see them and is proud of the fact that they can see them before others can. the other sees things and uses God's power to change them. (Romans 4:17)
-The Pessimist calls things as they fear them to be.
-The Optimist calls things as they want them to be.
-The Realist calls things as they are.
-The Fatalist calls things as the worst possible case they could be.
-The Idealist calls things as they should be.
-The Believer calls things that aren't, into existence!
where do you stand in this lineup? 5 of them simply see things, but one of these actually changes things! ;)
just because there's a problem doesn't mean you have to just sit there and say, "yep. there's a problem coming." NO! get up, intercede and change it!

Abraham considered not that he was 100 years old, or that his wife was 90 and was barren, or that she couldn't even dance the two-step anymore let alone make babies! Abraham simply believed God. many people would have something to say about that situation and how it was impossible, but God says something different. and when it comes down to it, "consider not" what others are saying, or even what you're saying about it! instead, consider what God is saying.

I cannot tell you how a 90 year old woman can give birth, but i can tell you to trust God. :)


Ever the Warrior...
Chris-Jon (James Swift)

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Swift Thinking -01 A Webcomic Begins...

so here's my first post for my new web comic. it's not going to be anything too elaborate, but i do intend to keep it fairly updated.
the purpose of my new comic here is to give me a reason and excuse to keep drawing. i need to work on something all the time so i can bring my artwork back up to what it was last year and then to continue building my skill further. ^..^


Overdrafts and Banks that hate Zeros

So it seems that my bank doesn't like the way i write my zeros. i write them the british way, as a circle with a line crossing down through it like the "null" symbol. or maybe they just don't like seeing zeros anywhere in the amount for something, so they replace them all with some other number, like "4".

the reason i suspect that they don't like it, is because i check i wrote out recently for my rent was for the amount of $300.00, but they actually took out $344.44. so each "0" they read as a "4". this caused me to go under on my account. things have been rather tight lately and i had calculated my spending very carefully. obviously the extra $44.44 of spending threw that out the window and has stacked with an overdraft charge and whatnot to put me nearly $80 in the hole!

i've talked to my roommate, to whom i wrote out the check and he's going to look into it. i'm hoping he'll be able to send back the 44, then i can call my bank put that in there, see if they'll drop the overdraft charge (about $35) and see if that puts me back into the black... even if just a tiny bit.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Everybody dance with your tail!

Alright, so the other day i was chatting with a buddy online and accidently came up with this cool idea. on one of the art sites i post to a lot of artists through around these "Art Meme"s. i'm not really sure how you're supposed to pronounce "meme", but it basically is a way to cleverly obligate people to draw specific things. for instance they'll have a little instruction on it that says "now draw your character as a muffin" or "what's the scariest thing you've seen recently?" and the person draws accordingly. best of all, you get to tag someone! which basically means they now have to draw this thing too!

well, i started one of my own. i called it the "Tail Buddy Meme". basically each person who's tagged has to draw their character interacting in some way with their tail which has been painted/taped/glued/glittered/etc. to look like a silly puppet version of themself! so far, just a couple of us have done it, but we're still waiting for those we tagged to step up to the plate. ^..~

here's the one that i did:

Friday, February 20, 2009

Tech UNsupportive part 2

so it seems i was right afterall, i had to call back again and talk to another tech, though this guy was patient enough to listen to the whole issue and not just cut me off early like the last guy did.

what's more, he's agreed to send me a new power adapter to replace this one that i believe is causing the issue.
now, on a much lighter note... enjoy some "engrish" and smile. :)

















This last one is how i felt when calling the Dymo Techs. :P

Tech UNsupportive

So i'm currently sitting on the line with a Dymo Label Tech, trying to get this darn'd label printer fixed.. again! i was on the phone with these guys last time for 26 minutes. the printer was sent in and apparently not fixed.

now this tech is telling me that it's a new serial number, so they actually replaced the unit. but it's still doing the exact same problem. it prints one label, then says that it failed to print that one, and just sits there refusing to print any more labels. ever!

he's telling me that it could be a firmware update issue and that we should go ahead and update the firmware for this printer. ok, i'm willing to try it since it'll be done while i'm on the phone and i shouldn't have to hang up and call back.

i know i've had my fair share of both sides of these tech calls, being the customer and being the support. honestly, i don't really like being the customer...

scratch that, he DID want me off the line. as i've said before, i've been on both sides, and i can tell when the tech is just trying to get me off the line because a problem is too hard for them to figure out easily. he's emailed me the info on how to do the firmware update, so i can do it "at my own convenience". this is tech-speek for "don't stay on my line, i've had a long day and really would rather not help you right now, so i'm gonna email you something to try and if/when it doesn't work you'll call back and most likely get some OTHER tech besides me so i won't have to deal with this issue any more".

these techs think i'm some idiot or something. the reality is that i probably know more than they do when it comes to computers!

i really wish i could just make them understand that i know what i'm talking about and have the issue pretty-well narrowed down to what the problem is. anyway, i'm gonna try this firmware update, i'd LOVE to have that update prove me wrong! mostly because i don't want to have to deal with this printer any longer. it's a frustrating issue to troubleshoot. :P

Friday, February 13, 2009

Dreams of Strange Congruity

Okay, so lastnight i had a rather strange dream... i can't recall how it all started, but what i can remember goes something like this:

"i'm riding a mountain bike, i note that i'm in 3rd gear, and apparently being in higher gears is important to me because i can go faster away from the Cadillac that's chassing me around this dirt-bike trail. for a while i've got some distance on him and he's a ways behind me, but as the path gets muddier, i have to down-shift and lose speed. at one point i'm in second gear and going through a particularly muddy area, i can see the car coming up on me fast and i reluctantly shift down into first gear, peddling hard to get to the back of the school ahead of me. it's not far, so maybe i can make it!

i finally get to the small covered area just as the car rushes by me, narrowly missing and screetches to a stop just a few feet infront (good brakes!) when it stops, i can see that it's been hauling a small tanker on 2 axles. it's no bigger than my outdoor gas-grill at home but it looks like a small rail-road tanker car. when he stops, this thick green gel slops out the open hole on the top and splatters down one side onto its wheels and the ground, slowly oozing more down to the dirt. the car suddenly kicks into reverse and tries to run me over again, this time seeming to deliberately miss (though i doubt he'd mind if he actually hit me!) at this point of dodging aside quickly, i can see that the tanker has left a nice little trail of ooze from where it was to where it is now. the car somehow releases the tanker and as the guy pulls forward to quicly speed away he throws a lit-match out the window, catching the trail of ooz on fire! it races up the line like those old trails of gun-powder in the old western movies and i hi-tail it out of there to get away before the tanker explodes!

i dont' get too far before the thing blows up, sending burning goop everywhere, the car is long-gone and i've just barely made it around a corner out of the blast (i had to wipe some off my sleeve though). i don't feel like i have much time to look around though, so i start to make my way down this long hallway that connects the front of the school to the back, though it's open to the outside at both ends. kinda like a long breeze-way.

when i get to the front, i turn to look at the front of the building and it's not a school at all! it's actually a grocery store (no, i didn't note what one specifically it was. lol) but i headed inside with my mother. no, i don't know where she came from, but it's a dream so it doesn't have to make sense. i get inside and i'm looking for something or someone...

i head down the front of the store where the checkout lanes are, i'm on the bagging-side of those lanes right now and i finally spot a familiar face, Dracos! it's my buddy from so long ago online! (not his character standign here, but the real guy in this case). i introduce him and my mother to eachother, but they both chuckle as they shake hands, letting me know that they still remember eachother from "last time". i'm totally lost because i didn't know they'd met before, and certainly didn't remember introducing them to eachother "last time". it was shortly after this where i was quickly rushed to a different scene, in an actual school this time...

one of the professors from my university was there, and was about to do some kind of clever magic trick with a windows 98 install CD or something. he had a very young girl stand up on the back of the stage before the audience with the cd in hand holding it infront of her while the professor stepped to the front of the stage. someone was calling out commands to the two of them that supposedly proved that "she had the real one and he didn't", or something like that.

it was in the middle of this magic-act that my nasty alarmclock went off, jolting me back to the fuzzy reality of early morning. so from there i climbed down off my bunk bed and shut off the alarm. i couldn't just ignore it, this alarm was for me. :P

Thursday, February 12, 2009

LOVE, LOVE, and LOVE

Okay, okay... so i was just kidding about my last comment on my last post where i made it sound like i'd forgotten about Velentine's day. i have a number of things planned, and i'm not letting it surprise me this year. ;)

but i'm also not going to spoil any surprises by typing out my plans in here since my girl reads this too! :p

Hope ya'll have some nice plans for Valentine's day too. i know i'll be finishing the day by DJ'ing on-air for the satuday night Rock show, so one detail i can share is that anything we do will need to take place earlier in the day thank 7pm.

Litter, Love, and Laundry

Okay, so today's been a relatively uneventful day. that's not a bad thing at all, but it does give me time to think. this can sometimes be a bad thing. however, today isn't so much a rant as it is a venting of what's going through my head.

Lastnight, my roomie and i had to talk about some stuff. he's been gone in the National Gaurd training for 3 weeks and came back to a "dirty" house. i personally think we've been doing a good job to keep things clean, i mean he IS a bit of a clean-freak but we discussed this lastnight. we talked about a number of things, and unlike back in october, we didn't end up in a near-fight about it all. both of us were quite level-headed about it and understanding. i had a few points to make as well, though most of it was about his fiance who comes over and "helps" around the house. i put that in quotes because she really only cleans when she thinks it'll bother my roomie, never just because she made it a mess. she'll leave dirty dishes all over the house and just do a mad-cleaning just before my roomie gets back so he won't see it and get upset. so she'll text me and be like "hey, set aside saturday to help me clean the whole house because he'll be coming back into town in the next few days". meanwhile, i'm already super frustrated for comming along and cleaning up behind her! so no, i really don't want to give of my busy day and "help clean" a house that i don't really think is dirty anyway and that she's mostly caused any messes in.

Even my own girlfriend is very carefully to keep things clean that she uses, and any "mess" is confined into my own room (instead of in a common area of the house). so she's been keeping herself blameless in all this.

But as i said, lastnight we hashed a lot of this out. i still think there's a bit more to discuss with my roomie's girl, but we'll see how things go from here. one of my biggest complaints was how she'd use my nice dishes to feed the dog with. blegh! but now she knows that bothers me so she has no reason to do it again.

In a completely seperate issue, my buddy Paw is struggling with his schoolwork again. it seems that his computer is doing some pretty bad things and keeping him from using it to do his schoolwork! he's recently replaced the power supply, which was suspected of causing the problem, but now it looks like it might be (might also be) the motherboard. his computer keeps going into standby "every 2 seconds", as he says it. i have no idea what would make a computer suddenly start doing that, unless the install of windows got corrupted at some point and it may be reading something wrong about its own motherboard, or perhaps the motherboard isn't disributing power correctly, so windows hibernates to protect itself. i wish i had a good answer for him, and i wish i had a good motherboard and setup that i could send him. i think i might have somthing, but i'll need to talk to him to find out if it'd be much use to him or if it's underpowered for what he needs.

Today after work, i'll swing-by and pick up my girl and head out to the lake where a friend is holding some nice stuff for her. a faculty friend of mine here on campus is donating to her (free of charge), a small table, 4 chairs, a large mirror, a set of nice dishes/china, and several cookware items! it's a rather exciting thing that she's doing that for us. so today i'm going out there to her house by the lake to pick all that up in my truck.

I think that's about it for right now, but i'll keep ya posted later if there's anything new to report... oh yeah, Valentine's day's coming up... guess i'd better "thow something together" for that. ^..~ (as if i haven't already. lol)

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Time to get started...

alright, so this is my first journal over here on blogspot. it's a nice cozy little place to be and i hope it'll help me to keep my readers posted about what's going on in the life of the busy wingless Turquoise Dragon.

i know that for starters i have something to be extra happy about, my girlfriend! she and i have been dating long-distance for about 2 years, but as of this new years (2008->2009) i was able to go retrieve her from florida and bring her back here to texas. it was quite a blessing to be able to make that trek, and many many things went into making it happen. God was so good to me to provide the funding needed for the travel, and providing a place for her to stay until she got her own apartment. now she's got a fantastic job doing things she loves to do! it's kinda short-term, but it still goes 'til may and they'll see about re-evaluating the finances to keep her around earlier. she's working for an author, doing things like desgining the covers for upcomming books, arranging pages within the books and the photos that go in them, as well as just being an all-around "handy girl".

well, i'll leave my first post at that for right now. but expect more soon! (especially since my girl is likely going to be helping remind me to post stuff here! lol)